Parenting Can Be Messy

This past weekend we celebrated National daughters day and today we celebrate National sons day. Since I have both a daughter and three boys it got me thinking. Parenting is freaking hard, right? Do we say this enough to other people? Do we talk about the messy enough, so other parents know they're not alone? Or because it's not our story to tell, our kids fail, they mess up, they cause turmoil, etc. It's part of growing up. They have to fail, they have to mess up but their failures, there slip ups aren't are's to share. We fail, I fail, I mess up as a parent and just being human. Sometimes it feels as though we are the only parent going through it, but in realty it's farthest from the truth. One of my favorite lines when I raising my kids and when my oldest got to his pre-teens. It was one of those lines that just came out of my mouth and to this day I think it was one of the better things I've ever said. "I'm learning to be your mother, just as you are learning how to grow up." Maybe we need to talk about the messy without talking about our kids "Stuff" l'm not sure how we do it but maybe we can just talk frankly and openly that parenting is messy mixed in with the beautiful.

As a mother I've stressed over the years, I've cried oh how I've cried. I've yelled, yep I'm not perfect but I've loved, and loved each one of my kids deeply and unconditionally. I realized a few years back that I need to relax a bit. There actions aren't always a reflection on me. After the age of twelve or so, they become their own person. Their own choices, their own ideas. It's our job to lay a foundation, but it's there job to grow up and fly away from us. Our job is not to save them from their mistakes, but to stand by them and tell them it'll be ok but these are called consequences. There are good and bad consequences all the time. It's just simply how life works. It's not our job to take the consequences away, but hold them through it giving them grace and hoping they learn the valuable lesson.

Just know that we've all been through it. No matter what you see on social media, trust me all of us parents have suffered from choices are kids have made. All of us have gone through it, or going through it. It's just part of what we signed up for when we became parents. Let's just keep trying our best and keep showing love and grace. Let's be open with our kids sharing our mistakes, our failures so they know that falling flat on their faces is normal and part of life, but it's what they do next that counts. I know we can't show the messy most times when it has to do with our kids, because it's their story to tell, but know that when you see all the staged photos of Facebook, realize there are tons of messy behind each and every photo!